October 20, 2014
Sophia, I have been working very hard on forgiveness, for without it I feel I cannot evolve. Whenever I think that I have managed true forgiveness, something comes up to show me that I may have not completely forgiven. What is the work that needs to be done once the intention to forgive is in place?
Dearest One, forgiveness is a process and as such cannot be done in one ‘sitting’. Knowing that there are several layers on the path to forgiveness and patience with your process, is key.
Forgiveness is intertwined with time, others, and yourself. When one feels a need to forgive a deep injury, the past must be brought up which is the timeline associated with the situation. This incites the chain reaction of being pulled out of the now (where you have done some work on this issue), and into the hurtful situation as it happened. If you have done any work around forgiveness of the situation, recreating it should feel different, and another facet of the situation should be apparent. This would be the next layer to work with in your process.
It is easy to get ‘stuck’ in forgiving someone for a violation you feel is unforgivable to you. This then requires that you go deeper into where the belief of the violation comes from. Is there a programming issue at work? Another words, were you programmed to believe something that felt violated? If so, is this your belief or someone else’s that you acquired and were taught to make your own? If this feels right, it would be wise to consider the belief system you have around the issue. Sometimes it is easy to tell when the belief may come from another source by looking at how resistant you are to the defense of your beliefs. When one does not want to consider change, growth and evolution is stopped.
Sophia, I can see how forgiveness can involve more effort than just ‘talking’ yourself into it. I know personally that in the past I have made the decision to forgive through analyzing, which did not work.
You are correct! Forgiveness is not of the mind (ego). It is of the heart. This is why most cannot complete the process. Deep forgiveness delves underneath the ‘chain of pain’ within the heart. Each event, person, or situation is interlinked with one variable; and that is you. In some situations forgiveness of yourself for not being ‘loveable’ or ‘good enough’ is enough to heal. This could very well be the only act of forgiveness that may truly matter!
I understand that forgiving ourselves is very important, for without that we have not stopped the chain reaction of creating situations that require forgiveness. What about a true violation such as rape or murder?
Yes, this is the highest form of forgiveness and the most difficult. This requires you to ‘see’ with a higher mind/heart connection. This is a deep injury that has many facets to it, and in some cases cannot be undone due to the level of guilt intertwined within the injury. Guilt is the highest form of punishment that the ego generates to keep you ‘in line’. Guilt is the ‘hold card’ for the ego that can undermine anything in your life. In the case of an ‘unforgiveable’ situation, the first step must be the willingness to let go, forgive, and heal the pain that is caused by the situation. Pain is addicting, for it gives some ones a reason to be weak and feel victimized. Healing and forgiving lifts you out of the process of victimization, and allows you to see the bigger picture that involves all that we have discussed. Remembering that you are responsible only for yourself and your actions can help you see the event from a ‘third party’ viewpoint. You must be willing to step outside of the pain of the situation to see the larger picture and the part each one had within it. Only then can you find a speck of understanding within the event. Knowing that you cannot change anything that has happened helps to pull you out of the fog of the pain. Loss is a part of your evolution. Being able to understand this clarifies and refines your being. It lifts you to a higher place of understanding and love, for this is what your higher instinct knows you are working towards. You cannot have higher evolution of your being with lower level unresolved pain and guilt. This is your path to peace, joy, bliss and love for yourself and others.
Thank you, Sophia!