Proper Discernment

A few years ago I had a situation within my family that left me disturbed and confused.  I struggled with this situation, and could not understand what seemed to me to be and absence of compassion and proper discernment concerning this event.  I went through a lot of emotions not wanting to deal with the reality of the whole thing.  That would mean that I would have to look at them for who they truly are and not who I thought they should be. 

At the time, my Husband thought I was ‘airy fairy’ because I don’t acknowledge the ‘negative’ or ‘dark’ sides of people.  And, because of that he states that I am not respected.  Well, that may be true.  I have never looked at anyone with judgement.  I prefer to let people be who they are and keep my inner peace by letting all things be.  This did however deeply disturb me, so I asked Sophia to help me gain clarity about this situation.  Below is the session I had with her at the time regarding this disturbance within my family:

Sophia ~

Q:  As you know a lot has happened this last week [my realization]. I feel better about it, but would still like your input as to why I put myself in these situations.  I am a loving being.  What does all of that hurt and anguish have to do with me?

A:  You are learning to look at things for what they are, not what you want them to be. There is nothing about this [situation] that is punishing.

Q:  So I am not being real and genuine unless I look at and accept the true intent of others?  How does that help me be genuine?

A:  You must acknowledge the dark side of life along with the beauty. These are part of you and in denying them in others you are denying them in yourself.  This is part of merging the two parts of you to create more light.  There has to be balance for this to be done and you have to have awareness to do this.  This is the path toward wholeness that you are on.

Q:  So, what I need to do is just acknowledge that it is there? That it [darkness] exists?

A:  Yes. This is true honesty and then acceptance if you can truly understand and integrate it into your being.

Q:  What about intentions? How does the intentions of others play a part in my life?  Do I need to examine them as well?

A:  Yes, although there can be a lot of misunderstandings with trying to guess what someone’s intentions might be. Look closely at what is not being said compared to the questions you have and you can uncover intentions.  You must, however be in a neutral state to do this.  That is why it is so hard to do.

Thank you, Sophia!  ♥

And this ended my Q&A.  I had enough to think about and ponder, so I just thanked Sophia and will explore more on this topic later.

Michell ♥

After the [above] Q&A I had with Sophia, I asked a dear friend of mine what she thought of the interaction.  She responded that although she felt it hit on some good subject matter, it didn’t quite feel ‘finished’.  So, during a chat (IM) we finished it.  This is the session below:


Did you read my last Sophia post yet?


I did…thank you so much for posting…it felt like there might be more there for you/us. Sophia’s words sounded a bit like XXX’s  and I’m not sure what to do with that. What do you think? 

I’m not meaning to offend in any way, I was just kind of struck with the similarities.


Yes, I do.  The reason the words sounded like XXX’s was because of the issue he brought up which was what the issue really was.  I was asking Sophia about the things he brought up.  I really felt clarity about it….  It answered the feelings he brought up in me about not seeing people for who they really are and only looking at the good things and not everything.  It is necessary for me to look people for who they really are and not who I want them to be.  I am still going to be me but not hide behind sweetness and light all the time.

I will still, however just be me and see the good in people first.  Acknowledging this is helping me a lot right now deal with things at work.  Our Boss is projecting this sweet ‘I’m a great guy’ image when he has an agenda.  I have always avoided the agenda and not wanted to see it.  Now, I am looking at it and it gives me the whole picture so that I am not looking at things with those rose colored glasses anymore.  I feel more in control and calmer because of it.  At peace……………


I am pretty sure I share this issue with you, and that’s why it is harder to see in myself. I really appreciate all that you’ve shared. I am feeling like I’m starting to see people more for how they are and how to let go of how I’d like them to be. It can be difficult to see myself in their reflection.


Actually, that’s the thing.  What I have found through all of this is that we are all aspects of each other because we are all one.  And, if I don’t possess an aspect that someone else has, I don’t ‘see’ it.  I am learning how to expand my awareness to acknowledge these aspects without taking them on to understand them.


That is a very useful way to look at it!


So, the reason you and I can’t see them in ourselves is because we don’t recognize or have any experience with them and let’s face it, most people have an agenda or want something from us.  We just need to allow ourselves to acknowledge what it/that is without thinking we are judging or going into a negative place to see it.


I was going to say that I’ve been trying to take “The Four Agreements” into consideration a little more often…especially the part about not taking things personally. Although it gets confusing sometimes when you think in terms of “we are one” and the reflection of what someone is projecting.

I like that way of thinking (what you just said) Thanks!


Yes, and if you look at them as an aspect of Source as a whole, not of yourself, you are just acknowledging that aspect and not taking it on.


So…become the compassionate and unattached observer?


Good way to put it!  Because we are so sensitive and used to being overly responsible by taking everything on and ‘fixing’ it, that we need to use the wisdom of just acknowledging it is there and doesn’t belong to us.  Our job is not to fix anymore…..just to be the light for situations, events, and people.  We can acknowledge it and shine our light on it and those that have those aspects.


Very good point, and exactly what I’m looking at right now…feeling like I was responsible for fixing outcomes that were not ever in my control…or ever could be.

How does it translate when it DOES feel personal?


Some people have the aspects of a situation that I don’t possess.  But by me acknowledging even the negative parts of the situation, I am able to recognize that’s what it is [negative aspects] and heal it within myself (the emotions it creates).  I don’t have to possess the aspects that create the negativity….but I have to acknowledge them for myself to heal.  So, I am not going to take on (because I can’t, I didn’t create their experience) their issues.  If I did, I would have to lower my frequency/vibration in order to ‘deal’ with their actions.  I am choosing to keep my vibration where it is and extend it to them if ever I am given the opportunity, but not to allow it to inhibit me in my growth.  Because of that my frequency becomes clearer and higher and I’m staying in gratitude and appreciation.  If I allow myself to get involved in these things, which is what this is (drama) I go outside of who I really am and into their CCC (crisis, chaos, conflict), which is not who I am…………

And, if I were to do that, I would become confused and ill at ease because I don’t resonate with that level of vibration, so I would feel sick and upset.


SUCH a great response!  That explains a lot for me, thank you! I think this particular response should be in your blog somewhere…really, really good translation of what you actually can chose to focus on!


I felt a release when this conversation was over.  It is wonderful to be given such clarity over a sensitive issue such as family can create.  I love my family and will never judge them for who they are.

Michell  ♥

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